Even more good news from me,
My dad has been in hospital for a couple of weeks,
he has had a blockage in all places, the bile duct!

The difference between him and mam's blockage
is that dads was a large gallstone,
and mams well mams was unbeatable, unmovable cancer.

So we fretted and worried, and kept the jolly side out,
and we were all bricking it, but yesterday evening, they
did a procedure and out it came, and we are all relieved
especially dad.

So he should be home in the next few days
Great! GREAT.

M

The White Rose

Last week my friends and I were talking,
mostly we talked about Rachel and Mam,
and how much we missed them,
and how sad it was that they were gone.

My friends said they have had symbols that Rachel
is still with them, the three of them each got white feathers
in unexpected places, and it touched them and they knew
they were sent from Rachel.

 I said I havent received any signs any symbols,
but that a white feather would not be from my Mam,
it wouldnt have the significance for me about Mam that it had for them
about Rachel.

I also said, that I felt mam was at peace and resting,
and maybe I wouldnt get a sign, maybe mam wasnt into that.

I was wrong.

My mam was a yorkshire lass, and at her funeral,
her sister explained that yorkshires lasses are represented
by the white rose, and she placed a white rose in with mam,
and on her grave.

I thought it was nice, I like roses anyway,
and white ones I find particularly lovely, anyway, yesterday,
my youngest said to me, ' Mam, have you seen nannys garden'
now I walked in and out of there everyday this week of course
I have seen nannys garden, so I said yeah why, she said, no go
and look, I was being a bit of a lazy mare, so I said why,
she insists I get up and look, so I did, and there, in a early spring garden,
on a rose bush, with nothing else growing,
is one single full
beautiful white rose.





Hi mam,
thanks,                    
Love and miss you.

M.

I decided to do two things this weekend,
however, dont get too excited,
I decided against the kissed,
and instead got pissed twice.

I enjoyed myself, had a laugh,
it made a difference, the kids are
not to sure whether they are happy
about it or not, but I have decided
to get my ass back out into the real world.

Lets see how that goes, for me,
I'm off for the next two weekends
so as my forever friend said
Hold on world Im coming!

M

It certainely was an unexpected weekend for me,
definitely out of the ordinary,

I got pissed !
and kissed!,
and I am considering doing one of the two again
this weekend,  I'm just not sure which one!

M

My forever friend is home at the moment,
soon she is coming home for good.

I am disappointed for her that things did not
work out for her in the states, some things are just
not meant to be I guess.
Anyway, we went out and about the other day,
she is a good person with a good heart.
Sometimes it works in tandem with what she is
trying to do, sometimes not.

So we are sitting in the car, and she gives me
a coloured envelope, I know she doesnt think its my birthday
as we are only a day apart in age. (She being the oldest)( love that bit)
I open it and there is a lovely friend card, all butterflies and birds and love hearts
kinda teen, but great, when I opened it there is lovely messages about
our friendship and how good I am (naturally), then at the end
it says happy valentines day, I laughed, I thought it was good,
funny and thoughtful, I gave her a hug and said thanks,
your so good.

She says, no you are, and the card says it all, then the
bit when the heart and the mouth move out of sync,
Anyway she says, I know you wont be getting a valentine
so I wanted you to get one.

You know, that is the truth, Im sure, or at least I wont be
surprised when I dont get one, but fecks sake,
You never know,
 I did not take the good out of it,
and only was miffed for a millisecond, and anyway
now I do have one, its on the side, full show,
somebody loves me!!
:-)

M

The other day Dad and I went to an anniversary mass
for his brother in law,
I went because dad had catharact  removed from his eye
and he is unable to drive for a few weeks,
anyway, my uncle who I never knew had died 44yrs ago.

His family remembered him every day I suppose,
but every year they held a family mass,
it was held in one of the childrens' homes,
I had never gone before, or not that I remember anyway,
but Mam and Dad regularly went, it was hard for dad to go,
I think, but hard for him not too, so we went.

It was very nice, and personal and homily, I liked it alot.
I think its a lovely idea.
Maybe we will try it, (I'll have to get friendly with a priest though)
Seriously, It was lovely.

Anyway, my cousin and I were chatting,
he asked me how was dad doing and how was I
doing, I said the usual standard, you know okay,
its hard sometimes, Dad misses mam so much,
I miss her alot, then he said to me.

You are so lucky, Maria, I have no memories,
I dont remember dad, I wish I could say things about
him, about what I miss, things that I remember,
but I have nothing like that.
He was about five when his dad died,
I told him I was so sorry for him, and he was right,
I was lucky, I had mam for so long, and had such,
good and funny, happy, sad, hilarious, beautiful memories of her,
and those were the parts she left me, left us all.

I hope and pray I can rejoice in them, and count them
for blessings that they are, and be glad of them.


M.