its been a funny few weeks for me,
Not funny haha, funny strange,
well ups and downs I should really say.

I did a bit of redecorating,
My youngest did up her room, she wanted
rid of the pink, no surprise there with a 14yr old.

She went for a really nice blue, kinda an electric blue,
I like it, more importantly she likes it, even more importantly
to her, her mates like it.

Whilst she was painting it herself, and her best friend forever,
they got paint all over the place, including the pink carpet,
(a ploy I think), anyway, she got a new carpet a remenant,
so it was cheap, and anyway my earth angel, and her best aunt,
paid for it. She is so good.xx

So we are grey and blue, with a bit of teal thrown in on the duvet,
She is happy, thats what counts.

Then I had the decorating bug, my room hasnt been touched really
since after we moved in, so it was overdue, also I wanted
to as my sister said,
get all of him out of there.

I went down to the shed and found half tins of paint left from
when we did up the kitchen/dining room in 2009, so I mixed two
paints together and got a caramel colour, no its not gross, its
actually nice and because they were a silk sheen they looked good.

I repainted the wardrobes white,cheap yeah but cheerful, (I promise).
When I was doing this I moved the bed around, Im half way round moving
this feckin kingsize wooden bed and I hear a crack, followed by a groan,
(the groan was me), and yep I d done it DIY Destroy it yourself, Id
broken the bed, and where I broke it on his side, at the receiver for the
support and leg and headboard, there was no going back with that one.

When it broke, it was like, well that doesnt surprise me, it doesnt fecking
surprise me at all, it is an omen anyway, what more did I expect.
So I wallowed for about ten minutes, then coped myself on,
and kept going with the painting, the bed would have to wait.

So I got my dad to look and the bed and pass an opinion on it,
yep he said, its f..ked!!,
marvellous.
So now what, I priced new beds, no way could I afford it,
so I did more DIY, that is I rebuilt the bed in a smaller form,
using the underneath storage and the wooden slats from the broken
bed, and now I have a new bed, that fits better in the room,
I still have the storage, and its not our old bed,
it is completely revamped,
like the room,
like me??

We had great craic last night
Myself my two girls and my best sister,
went to see Grease the musical.

My son had bought us the tickets as a surprise
it was a great idea, the show is brilliant,
Now there were some surprised faces,
its quite not explicit, because its harmless,
but innuendo is to gentle a word,
there is quite obvious its all about teenage
lets say high jinks haha.

My sister and I had many laughs
and some of them were at the expense
of the two girls red faces,
its is a definite show to go and see with
a gang of girls,
We loved it.

I have a few days off.
It gives me so much joy,
yep thats the word,
joy to be with the girls,
so Im hoping to relax and hang out with them
without driving them too mad with my presence.
It can be a very fine line for them,
but Im learning.
(hopefully so are they)

I had a good few days,
My three rostered off, fell handy,
my youngest wanted to get meet and greet tickets
for Jedward, (google them, they are brilliant, funny, positive)
and young.

She thinks they are gas, and great, anyway, she queued
in the shopping centre til 12am, thursday, and was able to
greet and meet with them on saturday, she wanted to stay overnight
in the shopping centre on friday with a few of the gang,
guess what, NO WAY!!

Anyway she got up early and I dropped her and another girl
with a sensible (meaning boring) mam, down,
They werent to far back in the queue anway.

I went home had a bit of brekkie, got my other girl up,
and we went back down to watch the craic from the railings
It was hilarious, these guys are so much fun, so into their
fans they spent a couple of minutes which each person and let
them take pictures video on phone, and the autographed everything
put in front of them, even clothes the kids had on them.

I have to say, they impressed me, with their efforts, fair play to
them, no wonder they are so popular.

The eldest girl and me did the food shop, a chore which she hates
and I put up with, but it was actually good the two of us,
we had a laugh and she got as much junk food as she wanted.

It is so easy to please me sometimes, I just want us to have
happy family time, alot of the time its me nagging them to do
their chores (and them rolling their eyes up and not doing their chores)
which of course leads to more nagging and more eye rolling.

Normal mam, teen, stuff, I know, I suppose because Im the only
one nagging them now, it seems like its all the time to me and
them, so it was good to break that cycle and have a laugh.

She called it bonding time, so I guess she realises we are
missing that sometimes, I must try and nag less, and chill out
more.
I may struggle with that one.

How are things for me
I guess okay is a good word,
I kinda know where I stand now,
its on my own, he has shown us,
all of us, he doesnt give a shit,
his priority is at it has been for
what is since I found out, over a year,
anyway, his priority is him, (oh yeah and whore)


He is off on another trip to whore valley,
My son told me he was going,
I thought I would be upset,
I guess this is new, I just accepted it,
even though he had told me they were finished,
doesnt he know, the lies are no longer necessary,
maybe it just comes so naturally to him, or maybe
he cant tell the truth from the lies anymore, or
maybe he just cant tell the truth.

Whatever it is, I guess its him as he is now,
I accept that, I understand that, he is not any where
near the man I thought him to be, and that was the man
I loved, lost and mourned, this receptacle body is not
the husband/man I had judged him to be, I accept that
I was wrong I have bad judgement, lets hope I have learned
from that.

Anyway, I of course haven't really let go,
Im still having suffering the martyr moments,
my family and friends tell me Im entitled to,
he tells me its my own fault,
I tell myself, whatever I feel today,
Im feeling it,
ce cera cera,
haha.boohoo,
whatever!!

Oh yeah, I bailed on the date, but then I think if you
have been reading this, and hismidlifemycrisis you probably
could have put money on the fact that I wouldn't go anyway,
to soon for me, to soon for my kids, to soon for my head, and
yep you've guessed it
way to soon for my heart.

Some day??