Ireland is enjoying beautiful weather,
and with the beautiful weather,
comes a feel good factor.

Yesterday myself and a friend went to lunch,
we were both driving so there was no drinking
other than soft drinks, and I dont like afternoon
drinking anyway, it makes me sleepy.
Must be the forty plus syndrome,
I could do it no problem teens, twentys, thirtys.
Now not a hope!

So we sat in the sunshine, for lunch, and then
cancelled all plans for the afternoon, went for a short walk,
and a long chat, solved ours and the worlds problems,
and had a lovely lovely day.
Was it the sun, that warmed the soul, or the soul
that embraced the sun? bit of both I think.

Anyway,
Please God, both will stay warm for us.


M

I can be a stubborn mule at times,
I do not like defeat,
it does not settle too well with me.

So my latest culinary disaster peed me off,
the banoffee pie, however was off limits to me,
the kids were like nah mam, lets not go there,
bananas are for sandwiches, or snacks anyway.

So I baked an apple pie, two in fact,
one without sugar for dad, and one with plenty
for us.

My mad to get me cooking mate, told me
no matter what flour you use, half the amount
of butter, and you cannot go wrong.

Guess what???

She was right the pies where delicious,
and I am redeemed.

Basic foods for a basic gal.

M

I took a few days off work, 9 in fact,
I think I was in dire need of it.
I have been banjaxed and bewildered for awhile now,
and it has done me the world of good.

I had the usual dramas, fights, and thank goodness delights,
in my nine days, I went out a few nights, especially over this
weekend it being St Patricks day, and Mothers day and a bank holiday
all in the one weekend.

The kids are still not impressed that I am going out more often,
and the son is telling me too be careful out there, and that is funny,
1 because I am always careful, even with drinks on me, and 2 because
thats what I say to him when he goes out, a bit of role reversal I think.
then he says make sure you dont be where I am.
Hah a challenge I think!!

Anyway I'm back to the real world, of all work,
and little play tomorrow, and I am going to stick
with my efforts to get out when I am off and
play with the grown ups.
another challenge lol


M

So my culinary skills are at best, basic!
well basic in the fact that basically Im known for
my lack of culinary skills..

I of course can feed the family,
and rarely burn the dinners now,
its really the lack of concentration towards the pots
I think, like they are on the hob, water is in them,
and Ive turned them down, so why cant they just
simmer nicely and wait until Ive done the two other more interesting jobs,
Im doing at the same time.

I think thats the problem,
lack of interest, now Im not sure if the lack of interest was brought about
by the lack of success, or vice versa, but I think they are going hand in hand
most days now.

Anyways, one of my friends in work, is an excellent cook,
I mean divine, you should see what she can whip up,
and she is always recruiting into the domestic fold.

She has tried with me many times, and mostly I have resisted,
but she must have caught me at a weak moment recently,
because I promised her I would try, and she told me
a simple recipe for banoffee pie.

It simple not much baking and sweet, you'll love it,

Hah.  So I get the ingredients, and get stuck in,
remembering that I had wrote down what she said,
reading it step by step.

Slice the bananas  melt the butter, crunch up the biscuits,
combine together, press into tray, oven for ten minutes,
cover with caramel, place sliced bananas on,  wait a minute,
I combined the bananas with the biscuits and the butter,
what the heck, so I re read it, never noticed
Slice the bananas.  Melt the butter, crunch up the biscuits,
combine the two together, oops,

Anyway, I laughed more when I read it, than I had since
the cousins night out, I am such a numpty, the kids thought
I was losing it, sure it wasnt that funny, and would the pie be ruined,
Of course not, its just in different order, going into the mouth, it
will be all the same to the stomach, ( good recovery huh).

Well two of them ate a bit, the youngest little miss pickey eater,
no way was she trying it, she thinks I should stick to the
basics, she only wants chicken , waffles and beans,
anyway, whats the big deal!!

My friend in work, thought like I did, it was hilarious,
and wondered how did it actually taste, I said nearly edible
but think Ill give experiments a miss for a while,
she wants me to try scones, says I have the basics in hand,
the fruit goes in this mixture!


M

As you have seen,
I have moments of sadness,
maybe it is the blues, but sometimes it is just
that I want to put them down, they are real,
they are me, but I worry about being a constant moan,
misery whatever.

Do not despair for the saddo me,
I have many fun moments, many upbeat moments,
and because of the events that have happened in my life
over the past two years, I also have many sad moments.

I try not to let the sad beat the funny, and know that
I still have a good life, a better life than some, in fact
probably than many, sometimes, I just have a moan,
a whinge, it helps because I get it outside me instead of inside,
you know?

I guess when I spoke about understanding dads' lonliness
it was very close to home, probably apart from losing mam,
the worst part for me, was in the quiet moments, when I felt
down or sad, I just wanted to reach out and hold on to someone
who cared that I was blue, and who was there just for me,
to pat me on my back or shoulder, to hug me, or just
say, its okay I'm here, you are not alone,
but I am,
he is not here, and his choice was for it to be that way,
that is the hardest bit, the lonliest bit, and apart from being
sad for mam, sad for dad, I guess I am back to being a bit
sad for me too.

The difference nowdays is that I am working towards
understanding it, I have accepted it, and coped with it,
and am trying to do the moving on with it, maybe when I
do all that the understanding it will come too.

My next post will be a funny, I promise, because it will
be about my attempt to be a domestic goddess, and how
you should always read the full method of baking a cake,
in case you misread the first paragraph.

M

The time has ticked by as usual,
I cant believe that it is almost the middle of march already.
Our weather has been mild and that is nice.

My dad is doing better physically, emotionally
he is still in pain and distress and missing mam,
as we all are, but for him of course, it is multiplied
a hundredfold, maybe a millionfold.

He is however, hanging in there, being strong,
but so sad, lonliness is a horrible feeling,
I know this, and I see how lonely and horrible
he is feeling, and we all try and gee him up,
and he responds well, but at night he is home,
and she is not, and he misses her and that is when
it hurts the most, that and Fridays, at 6.45 am,
for that is the day and time, mam went from us.

I hope and pray he will get past this,
thankfully he is also a warrior, and he
like me is carrying on regardless,
sure what else can we do.

Enjoy the nice times,
its what makes it all
worthwhile.

M

Last night I had a great night.
A cousins night was organised,
it has been talked about for about 5 years now,
and usually nothing was done about it.

Mam was always slagging one of my cousins who
in particular would always say when there was a family gathering
Yeah we are going to do it, definitely. When mam was in hospital,
and Tommy came to visit, she told him, he was never going to do it,
it would always be next time.

So at mam's funeral, we decided it would happen, and it would happen soon.
Lo and behold, it did, it was last night, and it was the best craic, I have had
in about 2 years, I got home at about 4.45am, and was in great form.

Not everyone of the cousins came, but as I told one of the main cousin night organisers,
those that matter came, and the ones that didnt come dont matter!
That may seem a bit harsh, but the truth is thats how I feel, ye cant be
fretting about why didnt they come, and that they should have,
Enjoy those that are there, they are the important ones.

Anyway, we sang, danced, talked, ate and drank, and most importantly
for me anyway, we laughed, I laughed so much at one stage my face and belly
were sore, the stories from years ago, and from today, were flowing,

So my new years resolution is in fine condition, I am out there,
I am being part of the world, I am having fun, Im living not just alive.
I am very glad to be here.

M