Wow May since I posted,
how quickly time flies,
loads happened,
mostly good things.

My baby girl finished her leaving cert.
she did great, she is now started college,
I think she will love it, but like my older girl,
all I want is for her to be happy if she is not
into college, get into the world,
work, play, live,
be happy.
be good,
be nice,
makes me happy too.....

My older girl is working, she is a great little worker,
well in the outside world,
at home, nah.. not interested..
her room is a no go zone,
If there was such a thing as
a monster under the bed,
he would have died of suffocation by now.
It causes disagreements in our house,
I hate that, but Im her mam, I love her to bits
but Im doing my job telling her clean it up,
its her personal space, but its a fecking mess,
Its gross.Tidy it
makes me happy too.....

My son is off to America for a week or so,
he is going with his job, he is doing very well,
He too is a good chap, they are great kids,
Im so lucky they turned out so well.
He seems to be happy,
that
makes me happy too....

They make me worthwhile...

My man is still the same man,
I did pretty good with him, I hope...
Its hard to know, because I was
so unaware of the ex and the trust is hard,
but I do trust him, this is just not blind trust,
and I know that I could get hurt,
so I keep a bit of me back, not enough to damage
our relationship, but enough to save me,
if I need saving again.
Hopefully not, but Im not going to sit at home,
and wait to be hurt,
I am so glad I am who I am,
I am so glad I am what I am,
Life is for living,
I hope to do plenty of living for a long time.
makes me happy too.

Oh my God, its good to be alive........

M

Well, all is good in the hood. haha
My dad came home from hospital on monday.
Eighteen months in hospital wow.

For us the time has passed very quickly,
even though it has been a long saga with many
ups and downs.
For dad it has been a long long time, and
so many changes and sickness for him to deal with.
However he is going good, and doing his very
best to be as independent as a wheelchair dependant
person can be.

He is strong in his core, pity his outer shell keeps
letting him down.

Anyway Im delighted he is home,
and looking forward to him getting
stronger, and better, every day.

You the man dad...love you xxx

M

SOMETIMES I just want to stand up and scream
at the top of my voice. Not in joy, not in anger,
I guess the word is frustration.
Frustration at the crap that comes into my life.
I dont.

Instead I find myself sitting in front of this screen,
typing, and as I type,
silently tears slip out my eyes
and down my cheeks.
Its my insides,
my body and soul,
coming together and acknowledging
the unfairness of the life situtation I find myself in,
because of the uncaring, selfish and mean actions
of someone else, someone who should know better,
someone who should do better by me.

I look up see three smiling faces looking down at me,
I know I have done good in my life, in my deeds,
I know I cannot change what someone else does
or does not do.
I sigh, not scream,
 ce cera cera.

I ring my son, sing happy birthday to him, smiling
knowing he is probably cringing.
I have lived twice his 25 years,
he is without doubt a good grown man.

May he always stay that way.
I tell him so, I tell him I love him,
he says thanks mam, I love you too.
The words cheer my heart.

Life is a struggle, but I am upright and above the ground,
I am happy to be here.

M