What the heck have I been doing.
My writings always reflected where I was at, how I was feeling, and what I was up to.
Have I been doing nothing for the last 2 years.
Well I guess the biggest thing and probably what has brought me here, is the loss of my Lion,
My Hero, My Dad.
Its been 5 months now, and I still think about ringing him, at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon.
I think about him everyday, and miss him everyday.
He was a wonderful man, grumpy git, no airs or graces, on occasions poor manners, but the marrow in my bones, he is what made me strong, made me a survivor, He is the best man I will ever know, and if my Son achieves half of what my Dad did, I will be happy with the man he is.
My dad was a character, he was a bear, a lion and a pussy cat, all rolled into one.
He and I well we never really got over losing Mam, but we plodded along, with the rest of our family, and each day became another, until 7 years had passed, and my Dad, who had fought the fight, battled greater than any superhero, got tired, and living became hard too hard, and he was done.
I started this post in 2018, in september i never posted it. I dont know why, maybe I just didnt want to post about my dad, and that he was gone from us. maybe I still dont.
My dad passed away on 26th April 2018, he was one month short of 82 years of age. He fought some fight to stay in this world that long, but he was done, he told me, "When living becomes harder than dying, its time to die, Maria". He passed very peacefully in the Mater hospital, surrounded by his family that loved him, nurses and doctors that mourned his passing as he was such a big part of their day, friends that miss him, especially Paddy his school friend, and many friends and people that just knew him, but wanted to say goodbye to this wonderful wild/funny/giving and loving man.
We miss him everyday, but he is at rest now, his work and fight all done, and I have no doubt, he is up there with my Mam and all the friends and family that went before him and after him, making up for the dancing he missed doing in his last few earthly years. The singing he never stopped, and was known to randomly break into song, especially Irish ballads, or the odd rude song, but got away with it because he was wild wonderful and in a wheelchair. Onwards and Upwards he used to say, and that is what we try to do.
"Carry on regardless", get up and into the world every day that God lets you.
To the best man I have ever known, I miss you Dad, Thank you for being you, for showing us how to live, how to party, how to forgive, (not always forget), how to fight for your right, and may I get to pass as you did, gently holding the hand of a loved one, with my family around me, and maybe even older than 82 years. It was my privilege to be your daughter, an even bigger privilege to be your buddy, this one is a great character is how you introduced me, I dont know what I would do without her. For your love, your stability, your character, your help and your strength. I will love you forever, and cherish my memories. Sleep peacefully My Hero, My Lion, My Da.
Till we meet again. hugs to Mam xx