SOMETIMES I just want to stand up and scream
at the top of my voice. Not in joy, not in anger,
I guess the word is frustration.
Frustration at the crap that comes into my life.
I dont.

Instead I find myself sitting in front of this screen,
typing, and as I type,
silently tears slip out my eyes
and down my cheeks.
Its my insides,
my body and soul,
coming together and acknowledging
the unfairness of the life situtation I find myself in,
because of the uncaring, selfish and mean actions
of someone else, someone who should know better,
someone who should do better by me.

I look up see three smiling faces looking down at me,
I know I have done good in my life, in my deeds,
I know I cannot change what someone else does
or does not do.
I sigh, not scream,
 ce cera cera.

I ring my son, sing happy birthday to him, smiling
knowing he is probably cringing.
I have lived twice his 25 years,
he is without doubt a good grown man.

May he always stay that way.
I tell him so, I tell him I love him,
he says thanks mam, I love you too.
The words cheer my heart.

Life is a struggle, but I am upright and above the ground,
I am happy to be here.

M