How are things for me
I guess okay is a good word,
I kinda know where I stand now,
its on my own, he has shown us,
all of us, he doesnt give a shit,
his priority is at it has been for
what is since I found out, over a year,
anyway, his priority is him, (oh yeah and whore)


He is off on another trip to whore valley,
My son told me he was going,
I thought I would be upset,
I guess this is new, I just accepted it,
even though he had told me they were finished,
doesnt he know, the lies are no longer necessary,
maybe it just comes so naturally to him, or maybe
he cant tell the truth from the lies anymore, or
maybe he just cant tell the truth.

Whatever it is, I guess its him as he is now,
I accept that, I understand that, he is not any where
near the man I thought him to be, and that was the man
I loved, lost and mourned, this receptacle body is not
the husband/man I had judged him to be, I accept that
I was wrong I have bad judgement, lets hope I have learned
from that.

Anyway, I of course haven't really let go,
Im still having suffering the martyr moments,
my family and friends tell me Im entitled to,
he tells me its my own fault,
I tell myself, whatever I feel today,
Im feeling it,
ce cera cera,
haha.boohoo,
whatever!!

Oh yeah, I bailed on the date, but then I think if you
have been reading this, and hismidlifemycrisis you probably
could have put money on the fact that I wouldn't go anyway,
to soon for me, to soon for my kids, to soon for my head, and
yep you've guessed it
way to soon for my heart.

Some day??