I am ok still,
Ok now that can have such different meanings,
like ok is good, alright, and shit I accept that.

I am the latter.
but still ok.

My earth angel sister and I have distanced ourselves
that is a very sad and depressing realisation for me.

I love her so much,
I miss her so much.

How could this have happened,
well its really simple,
she feels I am not doing enough
or spending enough time with my dad.

She is right,
I acknowledge this,
but the enough time with my dad is never enough.

It is probably enough for him, (well just about enough),
it is probably enough for my kids,
it is probably enough for the guy in my life (he thinks too much, sometimes)
it is probably not enough for me but all the enough I can give.
and sadly it is not enough for most of my siblings.

The what gets me part is that their enough is much less than mine.

I do know that I live closer,
but guess what Im doing my best,
if they want more
give more.

I am in a place now, its a bit more of a selfish place,
its more about whats ok for me.

I am, and this is, how I feel,

I am a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
I used to be a daughter, a sister, a mother a friend and a wife.
It didnt work out good for me,
I learned the hard way.
My priorities I hope are in the right order now.

I am me. Be happy for me,

I am ok.

Maria.