Its been awhile since I wrote,
things have been as usual in my life,
varying from the extreme to the ridiculous.

My dearest darling dad, is still in hospital,
not in the one he orginally was in, they were
a poor excuse for a hospital, they in my opinion
neglected my dad, and sent him home when he was too ill,
to be home, so my sister drove him to another hospital the
day after he was sent home from the beaumont.
He was immediately admitted and
after many trys to get his foot to heal,
he had his leg amptutated below the knee.

He fought long and hard to keep it,
as did the hospital in fairness, but diabetic patients,
are at severe risk when there is damage to the feet,
and his had been so badly damaged
it was a lost cause.

Now its not all negative
since the amputation my dad has got stronger,
yes he has his sad and bad moments,
but he is no longer being poisioned by his own body,
and his natural survival instinct has set in
and he is doing his very best to get well.

He is my hero,
an awesome, inspiring stubborn man,
god I love him...

My life is going along good.
Im still seeing my lovely guy,
rose tinted glasses and all :-)

My son wonderful brat is working away,
visiting occassionally,
he is a great chap,
keeps me informed of things in his life,
and stays in touch he visits his grandad,
nags me when Im scatty  I am so proud to have him
my lovely son, my pride, my joy.

My eldest girl got a job for the summer,
she is getting stuck into it.
She is a good quiet girl,
she doesnt say much but she thinks plenty,
although she is shy
she has a deep fire within her,
that sparks and flares like the bright sun, when she lets loose on the world,
she is another reason for me to smile,
 my lovely girl, my pride, my joy.

My youngest is the fieriest and fiercest of the three,
yet has the softest nature.
she is creative where the others are practical
yet she is a get up and goer, an organisier, a talker,
an absolute headwrecker when she wants to be .....
as they all are.... get it from me....
she is another happiness bringer for me.
my lovely baby, my pride, my joy.

I write these things for when they ever do read it,
may they know that without doubt,
they are the best  that ever happened to me,
and despite all the crazy ups and downs in my life
they are my wins,
my gold medals,
my shining stars,
my greatest triumph.
 xxx

I know how lucky I am to have wonderful people in my life,
Those who are no longer with me I miss shocking
my mam especially, even after two and a half years,
I find it hard to get used to her gone, visiting her grave is no comfort really
but yet its nice to go there sometimes...

My sister Noreen my earth angel who used to be my champion,
well I miss her so much,
but she cannot accept the changes in me,
whether it is the guy im with or the time I spend with him instead of where she wants me to be,
so sadly I am without her and sadly I think she is without me.

When I look deep inside and question
what I do and how I do it,
 I think that I am doing the best I can
with my kids my dad and my life.

Whilst it may not be good enough for her, its not her life its mine.
I get to make those choices and live with them as best I can,
she cannot change me,
I cannot change her,
so we are without,
sad but it is...
 the way it is...

We all mull along with each other anyway,
visiting dad, living our lives, working paying our bills,
trying to keep the best side out
and sometimes tipping the light fantastic......
Let the good times roll huh.
So in conclusion,
Im doing okay.
chat soon...

M