So, how are things going for me,
Okay really, actually okay is probably even too insipid a word for it,
I guess Grand is pretty good.

Im working away, Im getting out, Im living life,
having fun, not too much dramas,
the kids are heads down studying,
most of the time...

I am I suppose living my motto,
carrying on regardless, and it is sitting okay for me.

I think I am opening up to the new me, the out there,
I am me, Maria, not the suffer the martyr poor me
(most times anyway)

It has been two years, the pain, hurt, humilation,
have subsided, survival has passed, and I think the
revivial is on.

I do hope so.

I think it is time, I am worried in case I meet
another Gerry, someone who might take all I have,
and then say it wasnt enough anyway, but then
I have changed, some of what I didnt realise I was
doing wrong has been taken on board, and I know,
what to watch out for, complacency, stupidity, gullibility,
and I know that I need to be careful if I do get into a
new relationship.

I need to be a little more showing with my
feelings, not that I am a cold fish, but I think, because,
I thought that we were together forever, and I was secure
in his feelings for me, I didnt need to show him, that he was secure too,

Maybe it is ego boosting, confidence boosting, or just plain soppy,
but words and deeds are not enough, constant effort,
going out, holding hands, kissing in public (kinda dont like that bit)
these are very important reassurances to the other person,
so I hope I have learned these lessons, and hope I get the
opportunity to use them.

M