Today was always going to be a bad day for me,
He however decided
that bad just wasnt bad enough.

Our judicial separation date was today,
I went there, yeah our marriage is over,
I know that, but it was I knew going to be
a tough one, tough because I cared,
tough because he didnt.

So anyway, I thought I was prepared,
you know, psyched up,
ready for whatever he brought on.
I thought nothing he said
or did could shock me,
I guess I was right,
except what shocked me was
he did nothing,
he brought nothing on.
He never showed.

Jesus, 24 years of marriage,
and he didnt even have the manners or
consideration for me to attend.
Or even to let me know,
either personally or through
the solicitor, he wasnt even bothered attending.

The fact that the case was to be heard early morning,
meant his no show gave leeway for him to be contacted,
or attempt to contact him,
we were sent away from the
judge to try and get hold of him,
to make sure he was a no show,
to give him his chance,
to be fair to him.

Fair to him, what about fair to me???
yes it is a pity the poor sap me moment,
but I had to sit there, all day,
and wait to give him his chance,
for him to ignore all calls and texts,
to demoralise me, to humiliate me,
to show me once again,
how little I or our marriage meant
to him, and then go before everyone in that room,
and know, see and feel in my heart in my soul and in my eyes,
the insult and pain this man once again brought to me.

I dont even know anymore did he ever love me,
or how I feel now, hate, hurt, distress,
but its not like in the beginning when
I felt the emptiness, that big gaping hole
in my chest.

Today, well today, my heart hurt
so much, and I felt so, so insignificant,
so I dont even know how to express the emotion,
how do you wrap into words the
abandonment, hostility, unfeeling, the disregard,
that this man showed to me today,
so Im using just that one word,
the one that
I guess really does wrap it all up
Pain.

At the end of this long day, I came away with
my separation, and as its family law, I cannot
discuss the details anyway, and Im so wrecked
by the day, I dont want to, anyway,
he reads this.

However today, other people
cared for me, three of them were
legal eagles, thank god they were there,
and of course my earth angel.

Noreen, I say
thank god,
she says,
Maria,
god doesnt care,
but I tell you this,
he must, little sister

for he sent me you.

As for you gerry,

you are a dog,
and she deserves you completely,

So in my glass half full, consideration,
Im lucky,

I'm rid of you!