I had a difficult day, followed by a nice day, this week,
Tuesday was the difficult day.
The girls were giving me a hard time,
actually they were giving themselves a hard time,
I didnt know what the heck was going on.

They were arguing with me, with each other,
with their mates. I lost the plot in the end,
and joined them in one of their screaming matches,
they were not impressed, then again neither was I,
I had worked hard to spend time and energy with them,
I had taken extra time off work, and we had done a fair
bit together, I had gone shopping that day, and they both
had new dresses for the party, more I might add than I had,
but they were in megga bitch mode, it was a war zone.

I ended up as mad as hell, laptops were confiscated and
tv 's were turned off, none allowed for the next day, but
whilst they were whinging I was bawling, sometimes the struggle,
seems too hard, to worthless, these moments I know dont last
long but when they come, they hurt to my core.

I realise that the fact their dad was returning from whore valley,
that night had probably affected them and this is true, but my eldest
told me that because I wasnt upset, she thought I was angry about him going there,
I told her I wasnt angry any more I had accepted it, this was a new year,
I was not going to spend another year, distressed and angry, yes I was hurt
but I had accepted it, and I was moving on.
Maybe that had a negative affect on them, maybe because I wasnt upset, distressed,
maybe they realised I was moving on and they didnt like it, it frightened them,
but that is the way it is and they will adapt and accept my changes given time,
and time I am willing to give them.

Their sap of a dad, well he came home that night, Tuesday,
phoned them Wednesday around lunchtime, and told them he would
see them Friday night, he hasnt seen them since the 29th of December,
they are off school, he doesnt work the morning time, and he will see them
Friday night, he is a jerk, and I am not making excuses for him anymore,
if he wants a good relationship with his kids, its time he does the work
without having to be told by me, he is leaving it too long to see them.

Then Wednesday, yesterday, My earth angel came,
my best sister, and she preened and pampered the heads off us,
ready for the party, she is a qualified hairdresser,
and so up to date,
so now the mood has dispelled and we are looking forward to the 21st party,
I am secretly praying lots come, there is no hassle and we have
a good night.
I think we will.

M