So he contacted me today by text,
told me he was sorry,
I asked him was it reading it in
black and white made him
understand, he said maybe,
he said other stuff too most of it
just sad stuff, sad stuff from me to him,
and him to me,

I would rather he hadnt found this blog,
However he did,
but there are lots of things
I would have rather didnt happen,
those things cant be changed either.

I will have to wait and see how long these
feelings remain with him, whether they are real
or just part of the misery he is in at the moment,
I spent some of today reading back hismidlifemycrisis,
seeing it with eyes that are almost a year on, didnt make
it any easier reading, why did I read it, was it to check
and see if I gave any damaging information away, no, because
I only ever wrote the truth as I saw or felt it. No regrets
about writing it, only that I had too.

Of course I wont be continuing writing this,
that is a given
but as I have most definitely learnt in my life
nothing goes my way really,
so I am not surprised to lose this outlet
either,
not really.
(Definitely a poor me moment)
How will I replace it,
that I dont know, but knowing me,
something will turn up,
I will do something, before this,
I had never even heard of a blog,
so it was meant for me,
and it didnt pass me by,
and I guess it was meant for him
to find out about it,
maybe to help him realise what has
become of us, of me, who knows,
life is so mysterious to me.

Maybe an odd time I will put in a post,
maybe not.
again who knows,
certainly not me.

So for the time being thanks
for the moments,
thanks for the reading and
'Au Revoir'

Maria